Families in distress experience many issues that effect the quality of relationships. Issues such as work stress, children, school, ADHD, economy, the fact our family members are human with their own life issues, difficult communication, not meeting each other’s needs, shaming each other, anger, insecurity, resentment, contempt, all of which can become toxic and more. When any combination of these issues are impacting the quality of our family relationships we often lose connection, our sense of safety and security is threatened, loss of trust and love, we can feel alone, trapped, hopeless. Our family members can go from feeling like our safest and most connected place in the universe, our secure base from which to live life, to feeling like our adversary, even our enemy. These issues can involve children, parents, grandparents, extended families, adoptive and foster families.
These issues often cause us to emotionally shutdown, becoming more protective of our self, and seek out getting our needs meet with criticism, blaming, anger, and frustration. Our love and admiration for our family members can turn to contempt, frustration, disconnection. We stop extending ourselves out to them to care for their needs, it becomes a destructive cycle for the relationships as we turn on each other in desperate destructive attempts to get our needs met in a fight or flight state.
It’s time to seek assistance to help break the cycle. We can explore and progress together to increase awareness of the negative cycle and decrease it, increase our compassion and empathy for each other’s distress, sadness, depression, grief, family patterns, learn what the other person is really saying in their moments of anguish, anger and fear as they let fly destructive statements, the desperately attempts to feel heard, feel close, feel loved, and feel safe again. And or the terrible silence of their absence as they avoid relationship, just check out, shutdown. We can journey together to restore hope, and remember how to care for one another, have compassion, and get our needs of connection and love met again, and give love again.
I am passionate about assisting families in therapy, I use effective approaches such as emotionally focused and attachment, EMDR, systems type therapies, and more. All of these approaches are effective in processing the past issues that bubble up in our current relationships and help with increasing our ability to invest in relationship again, more effectively. We can learn how to identify each other’s anger and sadness not as attacks, but as pleas for connection and love.
I help break negative patterns and reconnect with their partner by allowing for a relationship to return to its nurturing roots and healthy patterns, better than in the past with new skills and understanding. I address a variety of issues that impact family relationships.