Couples in distress experience many issues that effect the quality of relationships and marriages in the relationship journey. Issues such as work stress, children, economy, the realization that our mates are human with their own life issues, difficult communication, not meeting each other’s needs, infidelity, lack of interest in romance, anger, insecurity, resentment, contempt, addiction, all of which can become toxic to the relationship. When any combination of these issues are impacting the quality of our relationships and marriages, we often lose connection, our sense of safety and security is threatened, loss of trust and love, we can feel alone, trapped, hopeless. Our partner can go from feeling like our safest and most connected place in the universe, our secure base from which to live life, to feeling like our adversary, even our enemy.
These issues often cause us to go inward, becoming more protective of our self, and we try getting our needs meet with criticism, blaming, anger, and frustration, infidelity. Our love and admiration for our mate can turn to contempt, and feel hopeless. We stop extending ourselves out to our partner to care for their needs, it becomes a destructive cycle for the relationship as we turn on each other in desperate destructive attempts to get our needs met in a fight or flight state.
It’s time to seek assistance to help break the cycle when you can’t seem to progress from these issues alone. We can explore and progress together to increase awareness of the negative cycle and decrease it, increase our compassion and empathy for each other’s distress, learn what the other person is really saying in their moments of anguish, anger, and fear. They let fly destructive statements, desperately wanting to be heard, to feel close, feel loved, and feel safe again. And or the terrible silence of their absence as they avoid relationship, just check out. We can journey together to restore hope, and remember how to care for one another, have compassion, and get our needs of connection and love met again, give love and receive love again.
I truly enjoy assisting couples in therapy, I use effective therapies such as Emotionally Focused, attachment, EMDR, systems therapies, and more. All of these therapies are effective in processing the past issues that bubble up in our current relationships and help with increasing our ability to invest in relationship again more effectively. We can learn how to identify each other’s anger and sadness not as attacks, but as pleas for connection and love.
I help couples break negative patterns and reconnect with their partner by helping the relationship restore to its nurturing roots and healthy patterns, better than in the past with new insights, appreciation, and understanding of our partner.