Addiction & Recovery
I believe that every person is intrinsically valuable from the moment of conception. We are born into this existence with a beautiful and amazing spark and light. We are ready to grow and learn with the capacity of great love, a being and soul ready to absorb the world around us. What if we were born into perfectly caring arms and caring family that had nothing but love and safety to offer. What if our caregivers knew how to sooth infant and childhood discomforts perfectly every time, who knew how to guide and grow without shame consistently. What if they could build us up with praise unconditionally, calm our fears and attune to all our needs instantly not missing an opportunity. And what if our caregivers disciplined us in ways that left us with self-respect and a good feeling about the lessons learned each step of the way. What if they passed onto us a knowledge of how to be all those things to others perfectly as well. To see others value, to see their fears, and needs, and instinctually respect them, value them, and attune to them without fail. Wouldn’t that be amazing, wouldn’t the world be amazing.
The truth is that doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist for anyone. From the moment we are born, our caregivers made mistakes, sometimes mistakes of neglect, sometimes mistakes that caused us confusion about what to expect from them. Some days they came home from work and greeted us with hugs and I love yous. Sometimes they greeted us with irritation, anger, or even rage. Sometimes some of us were greeted with incredible shameful devaluation, and even violence. Some experienced incredible emotional and physical abuse daily. What a terrible impact that had on our intrinsic value, our sense of love-ability, our deepest sense of who we are, and how we understand the world works. It impacted our deep down, without words feeling… we are safe and loved, the world is safe.
For some of us there was enough good stuff that we made it mostly okay, mostly okay because everyone ends up with some pathology (a mistaken or distorted view on some issues) that causes bumps in life. The other end of the spectrum however is darker. Some of us became Incredibly lonely, sad, anxious, and self-loathing. Darkness becomes the normal, and it was the only thing we had, we absorbed it. For those the pain is worse.
Substances and addictions can become the coping skill that numbs the pain and becomes the only journey to survive it. It has its place in making life survivable… for a time until it doesn’t work anymore. However there is hope. The pain of the past is not our fault and that intrinsic value is still there, its waiting to be discovered. A new feeling of connection with others and a positive feeling of life is still possible. New experiences, processing the past, finding out who we are with value, challenging the darkness with the light of truth assists us in coping in healthy ways.
I am passionate about assisting individuals and families recover from substance abuse and addiction. I provide an integrated approach to assist with issues that are impacting a sense of well-being using treatment modalities such as EMDR, solution focus, empathetic attachment based, psycho-education, narrative, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and psychodynamic methods. In the individual therapy relationship we journey together, collaborate to decrease the impact of a variety of issues that contributed to emotional pain and substance use. These approaches are effective in processing the past issues that bubble up within ourselves and relationships and within our world view and help with increasing our ability to invest in ourselves and in relationships. I also coordinate with substance abuse programs, doctors, and psychiatrist where needed to assist in a supported and compassionate recovery. At the same time confidentially, a safe space, and deepest respect and care for my clients is of utmost importance. It’s time to remember and discover who we are.